Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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