On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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