Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
