I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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