I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
