i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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