My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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