I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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