She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?