You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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