My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.