Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see

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  (858): i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see http://tfl.nu/4pqk
  Replies (25) Good night (690) Bad night (2590)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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  (702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg
  Replies (32) Good night (5001) Bad night (1059)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol

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  (330): So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol http://tfl.nu/6yav
  Replies (79) Good night (4748) Bad night (1828)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15266) Bad night (1425)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.

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  (203): I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under. http://tfl.nu/oj4t
  Replies (14) Good night (3489) Bad night (748)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we'll go far in life on tits alone.

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  (401): we'll go far in life on tits alone. http://tfl.nu/gwfe
  Replies (22) Good night (5032) Bad night (1016)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Yeah, but four times?

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  (702): Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it. (1-702): Yeah, but four times? http://tfl.nu/x8r7
  Replies (30) Good night (7315) Bad night (1997)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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  (254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p
  Replies (9) Good night (2962) Bad night (1245)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float

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  (931): making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float http://tfl.nu/pj8f
  Replies (12) Good night (2883) Bad night (657)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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  (843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17
  Replies (11) Good night (560) Bad night (1866)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die

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  (919): Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die http://tfl.nu/o1vm
  Replies (4) Good night (1460) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.

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  (816): We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have. http://tfl.nu/xov4
  Replies (9) Good night (1906) Bad night (529)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.

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  (780): When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/go1c
  Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (440)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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  (701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

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  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (285)

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