I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
