Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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  (773): Oh just a soda. I'm "driving" http://tfl.nu/spob
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2413) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...

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  (918): She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger... http://tfl.nu/dhcq
  Replies (6) Good night (621) Bad night (3343)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.

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  (724): I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/hgte
  Replies (48) Good night (946) Bad night (5898)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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  (267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd
  Replies (33) Good night (5902) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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  (512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37
  Replies (20) Good night (889) Bad night (2457)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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  (920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish http://tfl.nu/24oc
  Replies (27) Good night (5515) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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  (972): He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/uv7z
  Replies (6) Good night (3446) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn

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  (305): I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn http://tfl.nu/ufam
  Replies (25) Good night (4568) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.

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  (915): Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding. http://tfl.nu/j8kt
  Replies (5) Good night (2023) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  How have you survived this long?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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  (479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever. (1-479): How have you survived this long? (479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil. http://tfl.nu/0es8
  Replies (9) Good night (3430) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future

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  (518): Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future http://tfl.nu/c1z9
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.

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  (843): I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least. http://tfl.nu/90gk
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.

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  (716): I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you. http://tfl.nu/g31r
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (493) Bad night (603)

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