you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
