She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
