thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
