Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
