I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
