Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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