whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
