I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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