I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize