Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
