My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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