How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
