At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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