If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize