I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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