I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
this is an emotional support booty call
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize