Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Say something about gay babies.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
