You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
