my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
