I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
