Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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