i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
