I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
