Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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