wanna go halves on a baby?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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