So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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