I can text with my tongue
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize