$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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