I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
