So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
