The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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