Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
