"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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