Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
