just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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