Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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