that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
