The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
