"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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