Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize