final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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