Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
