i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
