You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
