Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
