what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize