doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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