i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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