He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
