after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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