and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
