Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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