the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
