garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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