Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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