no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
